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91
Passing as Male for FTMs / Re: Voice Advice
« Last post by itsmematthewc on February 18, 2017, 04:28:09 pm »
Here's some advice and videos that have some voice training exercises (the videos are specifically directed at FTMs), maybe these will help:

http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-With-a-Deeper-Voice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1un3EY-9dI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiGvdm7Zo-s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oegzhs410f8
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Passing as Male for FTMs / Re: Voice Advice
« Last post by EvanTheViolinist on February 18, 2017, 04:24:40 pm »
Don't worry, whenever I was helping customers or dealing with adults in general, I'd slip into my 'polite voice', aka forced sugary sweet fairy princess, I'm a Japanese anime girl, voice.  And then when with friends and family I could get my voice to normal lower ranges.

I'd say do the good neck stretches and the progressively humming lower as you crane your neck up and down exercises. Personally I felt too shy to do so so I just spoke like normal. My family hated how I forced my voice because it was too obvious. So I'd recommend you focus on staying calm when you're going to speak so you can control your voice to come out like when you're relaxed.

Too make you feel more confident, just think of all the prepubescent boys and guys with really high voices. I mean, if you're not on HRT, you're technically a prepubescent boy. And it can surprise you how often you can be perceived correctly on just looks and mannerisms alone.

So to sum up, practicing on your own will naturally lower your voice. When talking to others, just focus on relaxing. Until you get that T focus on mannerisms and how you dress/haircut.

Hope this was somehow helpful, and keep your chin up bro! 👍
93
Off-Topic Posts / Re: Trans Discord Server Up!
« Last post by Cosmic on February 18, 2017, 07:45:25 am »
Sweet. I've been hoping that there would be a Trans discord like this. The others tend to have SJW stuff and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
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Passing as Male for FTMs / Voice Advice
« Last post by Cosmic on February 18, 2017, 07:42:20 am »
I could use some advice.
I have worked on my voice, but I worry that my voice will sound forced to others. I have a really high-pitched voice. It's sad. Should I just not care what people think? I have noticed that my voice is better when I'm relaxed. I tend to have a hard time feeling relaxed around people I don't know.
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Off-Topic Posts / Re: Dysphoria is growing out of control
« Last post by ImZennSkye on February 18, 2017, 01:08:02 am »
I really appreciate the reply. And no worries, I'm not the best on giving or following advice either. But I do try.
I have been trying to keep myself busy with whatever I could the past while.
I've been working on Japanese, played some video games, watched YouTube videos, etc.. I even just did origami  in the longest time since I was a little kid. Tho I should be finishing up my homework. XD Which I will get around to.

And yeah, the binder I have was used previously and I think is starting to be really worn out (I can see my chest is still showing in a mirror). I would try and save for a new one, but gotta wait until my phone bill is back at a reasonable level again (had to make payment arrangements cuz my old phone broke). I feel like my financial situation may play a big role in my recent dip in depression, besides missing a week or so of my anti-depressants (getting them tomorrow).

One thing I have noticed and was a little happy to finally see, was some chin hairs starting to grow in longer and darker. I should maybe make a voice comparison when I get the chance too.

That's one thing I know has been really bringing me down lately is my lack of time to actually make any YouTube videos. I'm home alone maybe 1% of the time. And 0.5% of that 1%, I am sleeping, gone for school, or just not in the mood to make a video. I would make videos even when people are home, but I can't stop my mind from freezing and becoming so scattered I can't speak when I'm aware that someone I know can hear me talking in the house, no matter where in the house I go. So I'm trying to find alternative ways I can possibly make videos faster, more efficient, etc.. The only hard part right now.. is figuring that out. :P

Anyway, now I'm rambling on other topics. But I am feeling a bit better. Thank you again for the reply. It helped.
 
~ZennSkye
96
Off-Topic Posts / Re: Dysphoria is growing out of control
« Last post by ElvenDragon on February 17, 2017, 12:55:37 pm »
Hiya! I'm not fantastic at giving advice (or following it for that matter), but I'll see what I've got!

I think what you said in the first couple sentences is important: no use in worrying about what you can't change at that moment.

In the meantime, take little steps towards things that you think will make your life better, transition or otherwise. Are there other little things in your life that you can improve upon? Maybe you want to start a new diet/meal plan, maybe you want to get that nice shirt you saw at the Walmart the other day, or you want to exercise more. Put small things into action, because it can all add up in the long run!

You say your chest is being a big problem right now and that you are worried it's not working. Remember that from your angle, the size of your chest is greatly exaggerated. To get a good idea of what it actually looks like, look in a mirror, or if you're out and about, try and catch a quick glance of yourself in a window. Often times the anxiety that comes with dysphoria can make us think that things like our chest aren't as passable as they actually are. Now, if it really isn't working well and it's not binding well enough, perhaps you could use a new binder? If you haven't already, try out different brands and styles. Often different styles (even of the same brand) have different comfort levels and some may work for you better than others.

In terms of surgery, keep in mind that while it may be good to get it done sooner rather than later, if you end up unhappy with the results because the surgery was performed poorly, you will just have another problem on your hands

Remember to focus on the positives! You say your voice and face are changing on T, so try and take those positive things and really be confident with them!

I think a lot of the time us guys tend to forget that T won't solve everything. Mannerisms can be the difference between passing or not. While I don't condone staying in your room all the time (though I completely sympathize and understand) if you do have one of those days (or weeks) where you just can't bear to be seen, use that time to improve yourself. Practice speaking properly, note any mannerisms that you might have that you think could give you away and practice getting rid of them, practice walking and sitting.

If all else fails, the best thing that I find works is distraction. Distract yourself from the dysphoria in anyway you can. Play a game, read a book, spend some time with friends.

I know the waiting is hard, but I think it's best to try and be optimistic and keep looking forward to tomorrow.



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Off-Topic Posts / Re: Family at Any Level of Crazy; Adult Edition
« Last post by EvanTheViolinist on February 17, 2017, 03:55:59 am »
Damn guys.

I'm sorry Annie.  :( I want to say that your mom's trying to come from a good place. That she can't do anything to help you carry your own children so wants to see there being a reason for you being born male. My mom insists me being born female must have been for the best because she doesn't believe I'd be a good person and would have knocked up some girl before I turned 18. I don't believe that of course, but I try not to take offense because I know that my family is just trying to make sense of why I wasn't born male. I'm glad you have your aunt!
I'm sorry about your situation too Elven. Maybe they'll eventually come around, it's pretty upsetting how hard it can be for them to have a change of mind though =/ I'm aiming for top surgery during the summer break months and she'll still refer to it as me mutilating myself. I actually don't mind when she talks like this because I can then inform her with the research I've done and she'll listen.

If I may share   :-[,
Half a year ago she didn't want to hear any of it. Hell, as soon as I got a haircut she no longer wanted to see my face. I still remember the day I got an angry phone call from my sister because I texted my mom a picture of myself smiling(I was taking summer courses but my campus being relatively small and rural, was mostly deserted, and I had to stay in these old military houses turned housing for students, and I was the only kid on the block. I had no car and was working two jobs, one off campus, as well as taking physics and calculus 2 on the main campus in another city. So it was very lonely and stressful but I tried to keep a brave face for my folks.), she chewed me out for being selfish and insensitive because our mom had a hysterical breakdown in the bathroom soon after. We're first generation hispanic and catholic, so not wearing my earrings and cutting my hair was very shocking.
The reason my family changed their tune however was because I was forced into a mental hospital after being unable to stop crying at the counselor's. I wasn't allowed to leave until I complied with treatment, i.e. took anti-depressants. School kicked back up and I was being low-key bullied by the group of friends I had become close to first year. There was one person in particular who was constantly over- they would threaten, insult, yell, and put me down in my own house whilst they struggled to accept and support me. Another would out me just to publicly ridicule me. The other two, my roommates, were very passive, defended the others, and wouldn't believe me about how an ex-friend hated me and constantly took out his frustrations on me. At the same time the anti-depressants actually caused me to have depression (a darkness I can no longer even imagine), became overly dependent on interacting with my friends, and began to self harm because I felt as if God had left me. (Yeah, I was very stupid) Next thing I know I get the cops called on me and I'm in a mental hospital that treats you like the scum of the earth. I lose trust in my roommates and become angry when they begin to isolate me in favour of those who've been less than kind to me. I send one angry text, they misinterpret it, and I'm back in another mental hospital and I am suspended from school.
All this made my family realize how serious the situation was for me, and that I couldn't really handle it all by myself.

I know that 95% of everything that happened was my fault, it got messy and I'm still working on maturing and moving past everything. But yeah, that's how my family became really accepting. There's a lot more to it and I'm sure it would have happened eventually over time. But my dumb self worked like a catalyst. 10/10 would never do again.

And Matthew, that sounds really infuriating. I'm hopeful she'll back out of it before it's too late. It's all fun and games when it's just a matter of self expression.
98
Off-Topic Posts / Dysphoria is growing out of control
« Last post by ImZennSkye on February 16, 2017, 11:51:11 pm »
Sorry if this is a wrong section, was unsure if/where I could post on this topic. But, I've been feeling pretty dysphoric lately.
I didn't have too bad of dysphoria pre-t. I guess since all I could do then was just accept the body I was born with. No use in over worrying on something I couldn't change at that moment.
But after a couple months on T, while I started to become more happy and stable about finally being able to transition, I've noticed that other areas of dysphoria have gotten worse for me. Since I've been growing facial and body hair and my voice starting to get deeper, I'd think I'd pass more in public, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I've become much more self-conscious about if my binder is working or not. From my angle, it doesn't look like it.
Right now I want to go downstairs and make some food, but I just don't feel like interacting with anyone because I don't want to be perceived as female. My back is sore and I don't feel like wearing my binder rn. So I feel like I'd rather stay locked up in my room alone.
Part of me is fending off suicidal thoughts too. Don't worry btw, I'm sure I'll manage to get through them because I know it will pass. But I do feel exhausted and I guess ashamed in some way. if that's one way I could explain it. Just extremely uncomfortable.
It's really making me want to speed up my process of getting top surgery done. But I haven't heard the best things about the surgeons where I live. But my dysphoria is making me consider just getting it done here. That way it's mostly covered by health.
I just feel like the transition process might be the hardest part for me. Feeling stuck in between and worrying about passing more or being seen as I guess a "freak" by others. But I know what I'm aiming for in terms of transition, and I know once I get there my dysphoria will go down by a lot.
But I was just wondering if there's any tips someone's got on coping with dysphoria or getting over it?
99
FTM HRT (Estrogen Blockers and Testosterone) / Re: FTM Bodybuilding Tips
« Last post by itsmematthewc on February 16, 2017, 11:47:29 pm »
Thanks for the advice! I'm not sure how good salt and water would work as they are migraines specifically and not run-of-the-mill headaches, so they're more complex and require medication. But I'll take your advice as best I can. :)
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FTM HRT (Estrogen Blockers and Testosterone) / Re: When did your voice break on testosterone?
« Last post by itsmematthewc on February 16, 2017, 11:43:13 pm »
@EvanTheViolinist Wow! Good for you- that's a quick result.
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