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Messages - idontknow

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Passing as Male for FTMs / Re: Stress Dreams Related to Passing?
« on: February 11, 2018, 03:47:54 pm »
I have uncomfortable dreams with emphasis on my genitals once in a while, possibly being a product of dysphoria. I remember having chest dreams in the past, but they didn't seem to come around after i had top surgery.

I don't recall details of anything that happened in these dreams. I tend to forget.

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FTM HRT (Estrogen Blockers and Testosterone) / Will I ever grow an adams apple? (and an adult sounding voice)
« on: October 26, 2017, 09:30:47 pm »
I started T when i was 18 years old and I am now 20. Males are supposed to get adams apples during puberty but I don't have even a mildly visible one. My voice also sounds like an average 13 year old boy (i don't really like that. I want to sound normal for my age. There are also trans men in their 40s that i have met that still sound that young), so the hard part of my larynx is probably very small.

I read that a part of the human larynx is made out of some sort of cartilage that eventually hardens at an age past 21 years (but that could just be for biological males). Is it possible that while my body was estrogen-dominated it hardened early? Is that why most ftm voices on testosterone i've heard sound under 16 even after many years? Will I sound 13 for the rest of my life and never get an adams apple, something that every healthy male has?

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Passing as Male for FTMs / Re: The wrong kind of compliments making dysphoria worse
« on: October 26, 2017, 09:03:58 pm »
I haven't had those sorts of compliments after coming out, but before coming out my mom teased me about some of my features being small. I was told my nose is so small that it's a wonder that I can even breathe and i was called "little hands" and compared to the snl(?) character with the plastic baby doll hands.

They were meant as playful compliments, as it's considered desirable for females to have small and dainty features. But it now makes me scared that i might not pass that well since it was heavily implied that my hands are small even for female standards (they are in fact smaller than my mom's and sister's hands). Having been told about these things made me hyper-aware of them.

Yeah, it might be perceived as a "triggered" thing, but its common for some people to be insecure about certain features. So long as you don't give the people who complimented you a hard time about it and know they only had good intentions.

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