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Off-Topic Posts / Re: Trans Discord Server Up!
« on: April 02, 2017, 08:14:11 pm »
Update: The new Discord link is https://discord.gg/YWtT2uQ. Over 90 members and climbing!
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Off-Topic Posts / Re: Dysphoria is growing out of control
« on: February 17, 2017, 12:55:37 pm »
Hiya! I'm not fantastic at giving advice (or following it for that matter), but I'll see what I've got!
I think what you said in the first couple sentences is important: no use in worrying about what you can't change at that moment.
In the meantime, take little steps towards things that you think will make your life better, transition or otherwise. Are there other little things in your life that you can improve upon? Maybe you want to start a new diet/meal plan, maybe you want to get that nice shirt you saw at the Walmart the other day, or you want to exercise more. Put small things into action, because it can all add up in the long run!
You say your chest is being a big problem right now and that you are worried it's not working. Remember that from your angle, the size of your chest is greatly exaggerated. To get a good idea of what it actually looks like, look in a mirror, or if you're out and about, try and catch a quick glance of yourself in a window. Often times the anxiety that comes with dysphoria can make us think that things like our chest aren't as passable as they actually are. Now, if it really isn't working well and it's not binding well enough, perhaps you could use a new binder? If you haven't already, try out different brands and styles. Often different styles (even of the same brand) have different comfort levels and some may work for you better than others.
In terms of surgery, keep in mind that while it may be good to get it done sooner rather than later, if you end up unhappy with the results because the surgery was performed poorly, you will just have another problem on your hands
Remember to focus on the positives! You say your voice and face are changing on T, so try and take those positive things and really be confident with them!
I think a lot of the time us guys tend to forget that T won't solve everything. Mannerisms can be the difference between passing or not. While I don't condone staying in your room all the time (though I completely sympathize and understand) if you do have one of those days (or weeks) where you just can't bear to be seen, use that time to improve yourself. Practice speaking properly, note any mannerisms that you might have that you think could give you away and practice getting rid of them, practice walking and sitting.
If all else fails, the best thing that I find works is distraction. Distract yourself from the dysphoria in anyway you can. Play a game, read a book, spend some time with friends.
I know the waiting is hard, but I think it's best to try and be optimistic and keep looking forward to tomorrow.
I think what you said in the first couple sentences is important: no use in worrying about what you can't change at that moment.
In the meantime, take little steps towards things that you think will make your life better, transition or otherwise. Are there other little things in your life that you can improve upon? Maybe you want to start a new diet/meal plan, maybe you want to get that nice shirt you saw at the Walmart the other day, or you want to exercise more. Put small things into action, because it can all add up in the long run!
You say your chest is being a big problem right now and that you are worried it's not working. Remember that from your angle, the size of your chest is greatly exaggerated. To get a good idea of what it actually looks like, look in a mirror, or if you're out and about, try and catch a quick glance of yourself in a window. Often times the anxiety that comes with dysphoria can make us think that things like our chest aren't as passable as they actually are. Now, if it really isn't working well and it's not binding well enough, perhaps you could use a new binder? If you haven't already, try out different brands and styles. Often different styles (even of the same brand) have different comfort levels and some may work for you better than others.
In terms of surgery, keep in mind that while it may be good to get it done sooner rather than later, if you end up unhappy with the results because the surgery was performed poorly, you will just have another problem on your hands
Remember to focus on the positives! You say your voice and face are changing on T, so try and take those positive things and really be confident with them!
I think a lot of the time us guys tend to forget that T won't solve everything. Mannerisms can be the difference between passing or not. While I don't condone staying in your room all the time (though I completely sympathize and understand) if you do have one of those days (or weeks) where you just can't bear to be seen, use that time to improve yourself. Practice speaking properly, note any mannerisms that you might have that you think could give you away and practice getting rid of them, practice walking and sitting.
If all else fails, the best thing that I find works is distraction. Distract yourself from the dysphoria in anyway you can. Play a game, read a book, spend some time with friends.
I know the waiting is hard, but I think it's best to try and be optimistic and keep looking forward to tomorrow.
3
FTM HRT (Estrogen Blockers and Testosterone) / Re: Worried/mad about T doses
« on: February 15, 2017, 08:03:25 pm »
Oh jeez, thank you! That's a ton of info 
I already am on blockers unfortunately, which may be why they started with a lower dose.
I no longer see the same endocrin who started me, so I can't ask her, and I just started with my new endocrin about 4 months ago and I'm going on Saturday to see her. I usually go every 3-4 months or so.
I'm a big fan of baggy clothes (shame on me, I know). I'm a bit of a minimalist (read: hippie trash), so I hate having tons of clothes and like to keep just a few pairs of jeans and some harem pants, along with simple shirts and sweaters. Button downs, polos and stuff just aren't my style
(plus I don't have the money, but I certainly will remember the advice should I see something that happens to apeal to me)
Hair wise I just have a really short and simple faux hawk style. I usually don't have too much problems at the hairdressers (in fact I think that was one of the first places I passed at lol).
Yeah, I plan on going with the 'I have a condition where I don't have a ton of testosterone' excuse. XD
Legals thankfully are long done, so if I ever get in trouble, my handy dandy ID says I'm a dude.
Thank you very much! I'll keep you all posted after I go to my endocrinologist this weekend.
I already am on blockers unfortunately, which may be why they started with a lower dose.
I no longer see the same endocrin who started me, so I can't ask her, and I just started with my new endocrin about 4 months ago and I'm going on Saturday to see her. I usually go every 3-4 months or so.
I'm a big fan of baggy clothes (shame on me, I know). I'm a bit of a minimalist (read: hippie trash), so I hate having tons of clothes and like to keep just a few pairs of jeans and some harem pants, along with simple shirts and sweaters. Button downs, polos and stuff just aren't my style
(plus I don't have the money, but I certainly will remember the advice should I see something that happens to apeal to me)Hair wise I just have a really short and simple faux hawk style. I usually don't have too much problems at the hairdressers (in fact I think that was one of the first places I passed at lol).
Yeah, I plan on going with the 'I have a condition where I don't have a ton of testosterone' excuse. XD
Legals thankfully are long done, so if I ever get in trouble, my handy dandy ID says I'm a dude.
Thank you very much! I'll keep you all posted after I go to my endocrinologist this weekend.
4
FTM HRT (Estrogen Blockers and Testosterone) / Worried/mad about T doses
« on: February 15, 2017, 03:58:10 pm »
I'm seeing my endocrin this weekend, so Im going to make sure to bring it up, but it's been bothering me for a while now, so I thought I'd post about it.
I've been on Depo-Testosterone (cypionate) for 18 months now. You must be thinking "damn, Dragon, you probably have a real good man voice and at least some patchy facial hair and all that good stuff!"
I don't. Not in the slightest. My voice is just now starting to crack a bit, and I have a precious few hairs on my face. My **** has not gotten much larger, my hip fat is still fairly noticeable, my face has barely changed. I routinely don't pass in public (if I open my mouth)
I started out on 25mg every two weeks. Which I am now just learning is very low. I don't know why I was started so low, but anyways.
I am now on 50mg every two weeks and have been for a good 8 months or more (I've got horrible memory), which again, Ive found through asking other guys is still on the low end.
I am planning on going to college in September and want to be 100% stealth, and at this rate, I'm afraid that I won't be able to pass.
Im just really mad and upset. I don't know if they put me on a low dose because I'm on blockers, or because I'm small. I'm worried that it's my fault and I haven't been doing my injections correctly or if the needles are too small or something. I'm worried that I'll never get the effects I want.
I've been on Depo-Testosterone (cypionate) for 18 months now. You must be thinking "damn, Dragon, you probably have a real good man voice and at least some patchy facial hair and all that good stuff!"
I don't. Not in the slightest. My voice is just now starting to crack a bit, and I have a precious few hairs on my face. My **** has not gotten much larger, my hip fat is still fairly noticeable, my face has barely changed. I routinely don't pass in public (if I open my mouth)
I started out on 25mg every two weeks. Which I am now just learning is very low. I don't know why I was started so low, but anyways.
I am now on 50mg every two weeks and have been for a good 8 months or more (I've got horrible memory), which again, Ive found through asking other guys is still on the low end.
I am planning on going to college in September and want to be 100% stealth, and at this rate, I'm afraid that I won't be able to pass.
Im just really mad and upset. I don't know if they put me on a low dose because I'm on blockers, or because I'm small. I'm worried that it's my fault and I haven't been doing my injections correctly or if the needles are too small or something. I'm worried that I'll never get the effects I want.
5
FTM HRT (Estrogen Blockers and Testosterone) / Re: Any one else do weekly shots?
« on: February 15, 2017, 03:38:04 pm »
My shots are drastically different, so I can't really help, but from what I've read, .5ml a week for 100mg/ml is quite common for starting.
6
HRT Results / MOVED: Any one else do weekly shots?
« on: February 15, 2017, 03:35:20 pm »
This topic has been moved to [FtM HRT].
http://transwithoutpolitics.createaforum.com/index.php?topic=13.0
http://transwithoutpolitics.createaforum.com/index.php?topic=13.0
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Off-Topic Posts / Trans Discord Server Up!
« on: February 14, 2017, 06:06:18 pm »
Hoya all! I decided to make a trans Discord server for anyone who's interested in joining! Here you can make some new friends, talk about day to day stuff, rant about transtrenders, ask for advice, or just lurk around :3.
Please invite people and spread this around! I would like to get as many people as possible!
https://discord.gg/S5aY6WU
Please invite people and spread this around! I would like to get as many people as possible!
https://discord.gg/S5aY6WU
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Off-Topic Posts / Re: Family at Any Level of Crazy; Adult Edition
« on: February 14, 2017, 02:58:46 pm »
Oh geez, that's unfortunate what happened with your sister. I find that stuff tends to happen a lot: when one legitimate (or sometimes illegit) trans person comes out, there's a sudden surge in the near by people and friend groups. Have you talked to your sister about these things?
That's great that your parents are accepting! My social worker was accepting as well and made starting transition stuff a lot easier.
That's great that your parents are accepting! My social worker was accepting as well and made starting transition stuff a lot easier.
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Off-Topic Posts / Re: Family at Any Level of Crazy; Adult Edition
« on: February 14, 2017, 10:47:39 am »
Hiya.
I've had similar issues with family. I used to live with my maternal grandparents, and I came out to them when I was 15. It's been 3 years now and 18 months on hormones and though I no longer live with them, my brother (who still lives with them) and social worker tell me that they still don't call me the correct pronouns. After an awful conversation around Christmas 2015, I decided that my grandmother did not deserve to have a relationship with me anymore, and I haven't seen to talked to her since.
In her case she kept bringing up how she thinks that I was going to get cancer from HRT and one day I told her that I would much rather get cancer than live like as a female. You think that would have made her realize the gravity of the situation but... what can you do?
I guess sometimes people just will never get it, or will need to take a long time to full accept things like this, and that's for them to deal with.
Thanks for sharing your story
I've had similar issues with family. I used to live with my maternal grandparents, and I came out to them when I was 15. It's been 3 years now and 18 months on hormones and though I no longer live with them, my brother (who still lives with them) and social worker tell me that they still don't call me the correct pronouns. After an awful conversation around Christmas 2015, I decided that my grandmother did not deserve to have a relationship with me anymore, and I haven't seen to talked to her since.
In her case she kept bringing up how she thinks that I was going to get cancer from HRT and one day I told her that I would much rather get cancer than live like as a female. You think that would have made her realize the gravity of the situation but... what can you do?
I guess sometimes people just will never get it, or will need to take a long time to full accept things like this, and that's for them to deal with.
Thanks for sharing your story
10
Off-Topic Posts / Re: Should I change the forum style/colors?
« on: February 14, 2017, 10:29:55 am »
Definitely needs a paint job
11
Legal Name/Gender Changes for FTMs / How To Legally Change Your Name In Ontario (WIP)
« on: February 12, 2017, 02:24:22 pm »
THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. I NEED TO USE A PROPER COMPUTER TO MAKE THIS LOOK NICE (I'm on my phooone )
Ok, so I thought that I would start filling up some of these topic boards with a bit of my knowledge.
I live in Ontario, Canada, so this information is likely only relevant for people living there, but who knows, it might be useful. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So first things first: if you are under the age of 16, you need to use this form: http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/FormDetail?OpenForm&ACT=RDR&TAB=PROFILE&SRCH=1&ENV=WWE&TIT=name+change&NO=007-11156E
If you are 16 or older, you can use this form: http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/FormDetail?OpenForm&ACT=RDR&TAB=PROFILE&SRCH=1&ENV=WWE&TIT=name+change&NO=007-11155E
Keep in mind that using either form, if you are under the age of 18, you need parental permission.
Ok so print off all pages of the appropriate form. There are about 20 pages, but don't let that intimidate you! It's a lot easier than it looks, and there are fairly simple instructions along the margins of the form of you get lost.
For the purpose of this info-dump, I'm going to be using the Adult form. The Child form is slightly different, but there are pretty much the same.
Once you have it all freshly printed and in front of you, take a good moment to sit there and think about what you want your new name to be. Chances are, you probably already have chosen, but sometimes we rush into things before we've really decided what it is that we want. I changed my name to what I thought I wanted, and now I'm going through all this trouble again because I changed my mind. Also, these forms allow you to change ALL of your names (first, middle, and last), so keep that in mind.
Alrighty, got your name(s)?
Open that 20 page beheamoth up. Here comes the fun part. Don't forget to fill it out in pen!!
I won't go through everything in detail, because the form pretty much holds your hand, and there will probably be a good part that you won't need to fill out if it doesn't apply to you. I will however give you a handy-dandy list of things you need/need to know to fill out the form!
You will need to know:
• Your current full legal name
• Your current legal sex
• Your full mailing address
• How long you have lived in Ontario
• Your date of birth
• The town/city where you were born
• What you want your new name to be
• Details about your marriage (if you are married)
• The full names of both your parents
• The reason why you are changing your name ( I personally put "Transgender wishing to adopt male name")
• If you've committed any criminal offences
• If you owe money to the government
You will need a guarantor! This is basically someone who knows you and can confirm that you have lived in Ontario for at least a year, and it needs to be a person of some legal standing (they give a list on the form.) If you are a young person, the easiest person to get to be your guarantor is your family doctor or your school principal.
You will also need:
• Your original birth certificate.
• $137
And finally, you need a commissioner to basically have you take an oath that what you have said is true. You will need to go to your local town/city hall to have a Commssioner of Oaths sign your papers for you.
{Whoo boy}
ONCE you have alllll of your stuff filled out, shove that whole form (all the pages!!), your birth certificate, and your hard earned money (in cheque/credit form) into a big ol' envelope and send that puppy to the mailing address listed on the front of the form.
Now hopefully if you've filled it out correctly, in 6-8 weeks, you will get a nice and shiny new birth certificate in the mail with your new name on it! (Spoiler: It is made of the same polymer that our money is made of, so that's pretty neat!)
Enjoy!
)Ok, so I thought that I would start filling up some of these topic boards with a bit of my knowledge.
I live in Ontario, Canada, so this information is likely only relevant for people living there, but who knows, it might be useful. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So first things first: if you are under the age of 16, you need to use this form: http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/FormDetail?OpenForm&ACT=RDR&TAB=PROFILE&SRCH=1&ENV=WWE&TIT=name+change&NO=007-11156E
If you are 16 or older, you can use this form: http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/FormDetail?OpenForm&ACT=RDR&TAB=PROFILE&SRCH=1&ENV=WWE&TIT=name+change&NO=007-11155E
Keep in mind that using either form, if you are under the age of 18, you need parental permission.
Ok so print off all pages of the appropriate form. There are about 20 pages, but don't let that intimidate you! It's a lot easier than it looks, and there are fairly simple instructions along the margins of the form of you get lost.
For the purpose of this info-dump, I'm going to be using the Adult form. The Child form is slightly different, but there are pretty much the same.
Once you have it all freshly printed and in front of you, take a good moment to sit there and think about what you want your new name to be. Chances are, you probably already have chosen, but sometimes we rush into things before we've really decided what it is that we want. I changed my name to what I thought I wanted, and now I'm going through all this trouble again because I changed my mind. Also, these forms allow you to change ALL of your names (first, middle, and last), so keep that in mind.
Alrighty, got your name(s)?
Open that 20 page beheamoth up. Here comes the fun part. Don't forget to fill it out in pen!!
I won't go through everything in detail, because the form pretty much holds your hand, and there will probably be a good part that you won't need to fill out if it doesn't apply to you. I will however give you a handy-dandy list of things you need/need to know to fill out the form!
You will need to know:
• Your current full legal name
• Your current legal sex
• Your full mailing address
• How long you have lived in Ontario
• Your date of birth
• The town/city where you were born
• What you want your new name to be
• Details about your marriage (if you are married)
• The full names of both your parents
• The reason why you are changing your name ( I personally put "Transgender wishing to adopt male name")
• If you've committed any criminal offences
• If you owe money to the government
You will need a guarantor! This is basically someone who knows you and can confirm that you have lived in Ontario for at least a year, and it needs to be a person of some legal standing (they give a list on the form.) If you are a young person, the easiest person to get to be your guarantor is your family doctor or your school principal.
You will also need:
• Your original birth certificate.
• $137
And finally, you need a commissioner to basically have you take an oath that what you have said is true. You will need to go to your local town/city hall to have a Commssioner of Oaths sign your papers for you.
{Whoo boy}
ONCE you have alllll of your stuff filled out, shove that whole form (all the pages!!), your birth certificate, and your hard earned money (in cheque/credit form) into a big ol' envelope and send that puppy to the mailing address listed on the front of the form.
Now hopefully if you've filled it out correctly, in 6-8 weeks, you will get a nice and shiny new birth certificate in the mail with your new name on it! (Spoiler: It is made of the same polymer that our money is made of, so that's pretty neat!)
Enjoy!
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